Make Time Your Bitch

Make time your bitch?
I want to propose that this is:
A) Possible
B) Life Changing

– In a hectic world TIME can feel like our NEMESIS.
It feels like we wear our busyness as a badge of honor.
We used to ask people “how are you?” and the standard response would be “good” although perhaps not entirely honest, it was for the most part the expected answer.
But over recent years, I have noticed a shift, in the expected answer to how are you?
it seems to have become…
“so busy” or “I have so much on” or “you know running around trying to get a million things done”.

I am no stranger to the phenomenon of busy. I had 3 children before I was 30 and have pretty much always run my own businesses. I can remember about 2 hours after giving birth to my son Theo, being on the phone with numerous clients, because well… it wasn’t going to do itself and at the time there was nobody else to do it.
A memory that will never leave me is a day I found myself nursing Theo whilst trying to sweep the floor, when the work phone rang. Tucking the broom under one arm and balancing the phone between my ear and my shoulder whilst feeding my son is at this point an almost comical image. At the time I didn’t find it quite so funny.

Fast forward about 9 months into that journey and I was on serious overwhelm. I felt like I was in a constant rush, I would wake up in the morning, rush to get breakfast on the table, rush to get dressed, to get the kids dressed… somehow no matter what time we got up we would always end up leaving the house late.
I am ashamed to say I drove way too fast to drop my daughter at school most days and we were always late.
I panicked my way through the remainder of the day wondering how on earth I was going to get all my work done and be back at school in time for pick up… and guess what?
I was always behind with work tasks and I was always late for school pick up and almost everything else too!

My mantra at the time was
‘There just aren’t enough hours in the day’.
I felt jittery, nervous, like I wasn’t really winning at anything and I looked at people around me and wondered, how did they do it?

I don’t remember exactly what happened, but probably something like being near the end of my rope.
I decided it had to STOP. I decided that my mantra of ‘There just aren’t enough hours in the day’ was not helpful.

I made the decision to detox from all of the thoughts and language that implied that ‘time was against me’.
You know the ones…
I’m sorry I can’t xyz I don’t have enough time
I’d love to but there isn’t enough time
I’m so busy
I’m never going to get through all this
There is a never ending list of things to do and not enough time to do them in etc.
And replace ALL of them with ‘I have plenty of time’.

I’m not going to pretend it was easy, in fact I felt like a fool in the beginning, like I was lying to myself. But I was resolute that every time the wave of panic came in and I felt myself begin to rush… I would say ‘I have plenty of time’.

I began sitting down to eat my breakfast, as opposed to rushing round the house with a piece of toast hanging out my mouth, whilst simultaneously trying to get dressed.

I found myself resisting the urge to push the accelerator to the floor in my car on the way to school, as I said to myself in my mind through gritted teeth… ‘I have plenty of time’.

The strangest thing was it all started to shift. We stopped being late all the time. I got more done in my business and I felt calmer. This simple determined and consistent shift in mindset not only made a huge difference to my productivity and effectiveness but also my mood and quality of life.

10 years later… I just finished reading ‘The Big Leap’- Gay Hendricks and he referenced something about this phenomenon in this.
He said he switched his thinking about time 20 years ago from believing that time was external to him to believing that he was the source of time. He calls it Einstein time. Since making this choice he says he has had the most productive 20 years of his life and simultaneously the most free time.

The idea behind Einstein Time as Hendricks defines it is “YOU are where time comes from-you can make as much of it as you want!”.

On the flipside, he says the Newtonian paradigm, “assumes that theres a scarcity of time, which leads to an uncomfortable feeling of time urgency inside us! And we think that what is ‘out there’ is causing the feelings ‘in here’.

– Doesn’t that seem like something worth experimenting with?
– Do you ever feel like there aren’t enough hours in the day?
– Are you willing to detox from ‘time scarcity’?

Natalie xo

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