3 essential habits to love yourself (and transform your life)

Love yourself. Love yourself. LOVE YOURSELF.

When I first hopped aboard the self-love train, the people around me had mixed reactions.

There were those who were all “Hell, yeah! Me too!” but then there were those who simply rolled their eyes. Those who dismissed me as some crazy hippy. Those who thought it was all too wishy-washy or self-indulgent for real life. Even those who thought I was just talking about masturbation (…I’m not! I promise!)

What has become insanely clear to me is that everyone needs a bit more self-care in their life, and more importantly, everyone can have that self-care without a ton of extra effort.

The way I see it, there are three super simple habits that can help you welcome a bit more appreciation into your world. And because you really, really, deserve it, I’m going to share those with you today:

Habit #1: Check yo’self!

We all have a tendency to be pretty self-deprecating. We’re conditioned to believe that being proud or arrogant or braggy is No BUENO… so we fall to the other extreme. We pick apart everything we do or say or accomplish. We get way more bitchy about ourselves than we ever would about someone else we know. Have you ever listened to the way you talk to yourself, it’s a really interesting exercise!

That brings me to an important point – if there’s something you wouldn’t dream of doing or saying to a loved one, why would you do or say it to yourself?

This first habit to help you love yourself a little more is all about awareness. Take note when you’re thinking those mean thoughts. Take note when you’re belittling all your big wins. Take note when you’re calling yourself all kinds of nasty names…

Then be gentle with yourself, turn the inner critic into an inner coach, here’s how it might show up:

Anger – “You are such an idiot, you messed that amazing opportunity up, they didn’t go for it, you’re a failure!”

Fear – “There’s never going to be another opportunity like the one you just screwed up! You’ve blown it”

This is where we usually STOP.

Here are two more bits I highly recommend adding in order to be more gentle with yourself, and to get you out of “woe is me” victim and into useful action.

Request – “What could I do differently, what have I learned from this experience?”

Next time I’m going to be more prepared, integrate the feedback I got, rework my pitch”

Love – You worked really hard on that, you’ve been given the feedback you need to make what you’re doing even better, this is a really positive step in the direction of your goal. You were really brave in putting your idea forward.

Habit #2: Karate chop all the hurdles standing in your way.

Imagine this…

You decide that, for the sake of your sanity, that you’re going to make self-care a priority. You decide to take a solo trip to the cinema, or have a dinner date with a new book, or take a dip at the local pool, whatever… and you feel really pleased with yourself.

Then, as if by magic, the mind monkeys up their game.

WHAT? The cinema? No chance, you have the ballet/football/drama drop-off to coordinate. A new book to write or read? Not likely – you need to proofread that draft/send out those emails/submit that proposal. SWIMMING? I’m sorry, haven’t you seen that pile of paperwork?!

Not so far from reality, is it?

Here’s what I want you to know – this is all utterly and completely normal. Do you think, as a mother of three, I spend all my time skipping along river banks and meditating in meadows? Of course not! But I still make micro-moves to care for myself.

My biggest tip to help you kick away those hurdles (real or imagined) is this – rope in the external factors. Make your intentions clear to the world.

Schedule in those appointments or dates with yourself. Write them in your calendar IN PEN. Manage the expectations of those who love you by making it crystal clear that this time is YOU time. And for the love of God, pretty please consider outsourcing the stuff that is not in your zone of genius! Ironing, social media planning, de-cluttering whatever it may be.

Habit #3: Just commit!

I kind of touched on this slightly with Habit #2, but there’s a surprising power in laying your intentions down out loud. Even if nobody else is listening, even if you’re standing alone in front of a mirror, try it. Ignore that little voice saying “this is stupid” and make your announcement to the world.

“I am a priority in my own life. If I want to play, I WILL PLAY!”

“I am learning to love myself no matter what it takes!”

“Self-care = sanity!”

If you’re ready to take it further – if you’re ready to leave the privacy of your bathroom and truly transform your life, I have just the thing for you…

12 Days of Self-Care is a fabulous, free experience to help you wrap up the year and stick a big shiny bow on it.

Led by yours truly and motivated by an empowered private community, this transformative mini-movement will take you from belly-aching to belly laughing. In 12 days.

So are you in? Are you ready for the fist bumps, the feeling unstoppable, the FUN?

Sign up today!

 

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